Just in time for Good Friday, Italian newspaper La Republica claims Pope Francis told the paper’s founder, Eugenio Scalfari, that hell doesn’t exist. And worse — the Pope allegedly said it on Holy Wednesday.
Laura Ingraham (r.) deserves damnation after mocking Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg (l.).
The Vatican quickly walked back the quote, but admitted that, well, yes, the Pope did hang out privately with his 93-year old avowed atheist publisher pal that day.
Mind you, the Pope didn’t deny he said hell doesn’t exist, that denial was issued by the Vatican’s mouthpiece Greg Burke.
David Hogg on Laura Ingraham: ‘I would love to see her go’
More astounding than no hell is just the hellish notion that the Pope has a PR guy called Greg Burke in the first place.
Harvey Weinstein is accused of a lot of things, but he’s a confirmed pig.
OK, so if hell doesn’t exist and we’ve been duped for a few thousand years into behaving ourselves unnecessarily, does that mean that, say, Hitler and Manson got a passes from spending eternity with their heads on fire?
Or was the whole hell-DOES-exist-spiritual threat grandfathered in so that previously dead monsters and minor sinners are now and will forever be turning on the spit of hellfire?
President Trump and his bad hairdo have a few reasons to be damned.
In the event that hell doesn’t exist, here then the top ten sub-humans who will/did get to skip eternal damnation while causing hell on earth for everyone else.
Fox News host Laura Ingraham’s most controversial moments
1. Laura Ingraham. The loud mouth monster who was born without a soul and proved it by making fun of Parkland school shooting survivor, David Hogg, is getting her just desserts on Earth by working in women hell, aka Fox News.
2. Hitler. No explanation needed.
3. Harvey Weinstein, disgraced movie honcho/alleged rapist/confirmed pig.
4. Roger Ailes, dead and disgraced Fox honcho/alleged rapist/confirmed pig.
Ingraham apologizes for tweet about Hogg college rejections
5. The Kardashians. Relentlessly self-promoting family whose family values include: shallowness, shamelessness and selfies.
6. Facebook VP Andrew "Boz" Bosworth who justified pesky things like killing, terrorism and bullying as a consequences of FB growth and expanding reach.
7. Donald Trump. Presidential honcho/alleged sexual assaulter/confirmed nutjob/bad hair aficionado. Oh, and everyone like Steve Bannon who works/ed for him.
8. Kim Jong Un, beloved leader honcho/alleged/killer/confirmed nutjob/bad hair aficionado.
Maybe it’s time for Laura Ingraham to shut up
9. Vlad “The Impaler” Putin. Russian presidential honcho/election fixer/foe-poisoner/rape-joker/bare-shirt horse rider/confirmed nutjob.
10. Co-hell-deservers: NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre and his NRA mouthpiece, Dana Loesh. Devils/murder-encouragers/gun nuts/confirmed nutjobs.
NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre is a murder-encouraging nutjob.
Bonus Round of those who should be in hell but now may avoid spending eternity on fire.
Spammers, Instagram junkies, subway door blockers, bottom-of-the-escalator standers, hand-holding sidewalk slow walkers (double hell-bound), next door neighbors with speakers, people who say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome,” gum snappers, gum spitters, public transportation cell phone users, gym talkers, show-off parents (no you didn’t give birth to the Messiah), fragrance abusers, people who tell you to go to hell. Facebook and The Clintons. Just because.